Friday 24 August 2012

Pen for Ken

Twitter and Leeds United haven't really had a smooth ride over the past couple of years. Whether it's Davide Somma revealing the news on his long-term injury despite the manager's wishes or just Paddy Kenny putting Queens Park Rangers in their place, there is always a tinge of controversy when Leeds United and it's fans collide with a story on the social networking site. Even if it's not a tale of trouble, it's a case of sheer stupidity. Every fan is entitled to their own opinion, but when they're advocating a bid to re-sign Sanchez Watt on loan, that opinion is wrong.


It was a refreshing touch, then, to see the 'Pen4Ken' campaign start on twitter. The new hashtag craze (#Pen4Ken) amongst the Twitter Whites has a method to its madness. Fans are pledging to send a simple Biro pen addressed to Ken Bates at Elland Road (or, for those who have access to it, his home address in the tax haven of Monaco) along with a personalised letter reminding the Chairman of when such an item could be of valued importance to him in the coming weeks. Along with the following on twitter, a new website for the innovation has started here

Some letters have been quite elegant and profound (Read The Scratching Shed's version here). Others has been a little more brutal and to the point. It only seems fair, though, to send our Biro in a similar vein to which Bates would no doubt choose should he have been in a position to do so;

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FAO Kenneth William Bates
Elland Road Stadium,
Leeds, West Yorkshire,
LS11 0ES

Dear Ken,

Please find enclosed a Biro I found in the bookies this afternoon. I am fully aware that fellow fans intend to send you a pen of more quality (perhaps, even, that of the Bic Cristal brand). However, seeing as you have failed to deliver in terms of quality and investment over the past seven years, I decided it would only be fair to respond in kind with my choice of Biro. 

This pen was picked up free of charge at the local William Hill store, had been acquired and discarded by several previous owners and struggles to hold any consistency or reliability. Frankly, this pen is on it's last legs; Any self-respecting businessman would snub such an inferior Biro for one of true quality. Does any of this sound vaguely familiar to you?

Please do not mistake this pen as a gift. It's not. Rather, this is merely a loan (I'd explain the concept to you, although I feel you may have an insight into how a loan works) and should be returned following the signing of the contracts handing over the club to the future owners currently in negotiation.

As with the freebies and loans that you have saddled this great club with over the years, I cannot guarantee you any success with this pen. Not to worry, though. Should this pen fail to deliver, I'm sure you'll have many more sent to you in the foreseeable future to complete the transaction and finally rid us of your shambolic reign at Leeds United.

Yours Sincerely,

Becchio Well Placed.